my shoulder hurts something fierce

i haven't written in a while. it's not that i'm not inspired to write--i write in my head all the time when i'm in the subway or walking down the street or cooking pasta in my little abode, it's just when it comes to writing things down, i get all critical like nothing is good enough...for a blog. i'm stupid, it's ok.

today i made an omelet and almost became a strict vegetarian because i saw something i've never seen before in y cracked egg: twins. yes twins. i was trying to be quiet an d not wake christy with my cooking frenzy and i cracked open one of the little brown eggs into my skillet only to see two yokes attached together instead of just one. and for some reason attaching the word "twins" to it made me not want to eat it. i felt like i was commiting some sort of crime by eating twin yokes, so i just cracked another egg on top, grabbed a fork and smushed those suckers around the already sizzling skillet.

heartless, i know.

i had a series of revelations today. it was one of those things where you start laughing outloud by yourself because you realize how rediculous somethings in the world are and you have no idea why they are the way they are and people around you think you're crazy.

cast of revelations (in order of appearance)
1. men and women stil subconsciously segregate themselves on the subway because to some women, men are sketchy. thus making me laugh with strangers when an old woman won't sit down to a young man but makes christy scoot over to make a new tight spot for her. young man and i laugh at her. conclusion: laughing with strangers is fun, and also at them, but in a nice, unassuming way.
2. my friend justin clark is right when he says that crunchy leaves are the best noises ever. i constantly go out of my way to crush an extra-crunchy one. it's ever so satisfying.
3. ok dentyne ice ads. picture this--girl and guy making out in the grass, the slogan is to share the wealth or the experience or something super cliche like that, however in said picture of make out, the dude's arm is underneath the girls shoulder and i'm thinking. there has to be some more cmfortable way to make out. i mean, his arm is going to either get crushed, or it's going to fall asleep and he's going to be shaking it out or trying to get it to wake up and still be making out, because the guy won't want to sacrifice prime lip-locking time to get his crushed arm to wake up. conclusion: i really don't want dentyne ice anyways because the girl that was making out with the dentyne ice dude didn't look all that intrigued/blown away by the minty ice flavor--hence the reason her face looks like those old church women who pucker up and blow you kisses when you're 3 and they have old women powder-smell breath. gross.
4. why do you say bless you when someone sneezes? also, many people don't say bless you, they say bleshhew. i laughed at a man after i said bless you to him today and i was like, what if i just went up to him, if he didn't sneeze and said 'bless you' he would think i was crazy or weird or some modern day mother teresa right? conclusion: sneezes must have a holy/saintly magic in them that makes you want to bless people.
5. listening to old people at starbucks talk about the internet and insoles is the most hilarious conversation i've ever heard. conclusion: i need to be fabulous and hate technology in 40 years and buy insoles and forget where i put them.

in the next week or so, i'll write some more, some creative, some drivel, something just to write.
it's raining tonight, and it's lulling me to sleep, so i'll go now.