it sounds like wet play dough.
and wet play dough is not succulent, trust me, i've tried it.
i'm a list maker. my life operates around lists. my goal in life is to kill the list--make one and take it out, putting the most mundane, detailed tasks on it and jotting down things i've already done just to have the pleasure of crossing them off. and sometimes i hate lists. lists of things i'm afraid of. lists of things that i think are true about me. lists of people i've loved or had crushes on. lists of the opportunities i've missed. lists of the things that i would say to a person that i met eyes with if i'd only had the courage to say hello. lists of the things that i would change out myself. lists about my future. lists of dreams of hopes, of realities. these are the lists that i don't necessarily look forward to crossing off because i'm too afraid to make them. so we'll start out by checking a box off of the 'things i'm afraid of' list and make a list, a public list about all the things that i dream about and in my own little world, in my little nook, these are the things that i day dream about, however mundane, and stupid and inconsequential--these are the things of my dreams.
1. to go to montana
2. to own a little coffee shop in new york with a porch adn chipped paint and a red door. to make my grandad's homeade potato bread and invent drinks with espresso and foam milk all day long.
3. to meet my husband in my coffee shop.
4. to actually watch star wars adn not hate it.
5. to be a part of a theater company who are my family
6. to perform things that matter, and push the envelope, not because it's inappropriate, but because plays are the messy, incongruous thoughts that go on inside everyone's head that they're too afraid to speak
7. to learn how to do latte art
8. for someone to figure out how many freckles i have and what constellations are in them
9. to learn how to rock climb--really
10. to have a husband who is the perfect combination of a lumberjack, peter pan and the cs lewis all wrapped up into one. who smells like bonfires and wears plaid and has a scruffy beard and is burly but not a douchebag.
11. to eat grilled cheese and tomato soup every sunday night for the rest of my life.
12. to learn how to speak fluent french and go to france and have un cafe and all the nasty kinds of cheeses at a hole in the wall restaurant.
13. to be a wine connoisseur
14. to have a shiba inu named petey that looks like a fox and a calico cat that kneads my stomach before going to bed right beside me
15. to have a house that smells like cinnamon and bonfires instead of baby throw up and cat pee
16. to never have more than i need and learn how to throw away crap
17. to parasail and scuba dive on a reef and get the crap scared out of me by eels and sharks
18. to have kids who shoot bows and arrows and take them on fishing trips like my dad took me and my sister
19. to start eating pb&j sandwiches in cookie-cutter shapes during holidays, just for fun and save the crust
20. to meet someone who my kids can someday call aunt... without her actually being their aunt
21. to have tropical fish and name them
22. to write a book, not just to write one, but because i believe in what i'm saying and because it needs to be said--i still haven't figured out what that is
23. to learn how to cook frou frou things like salmon and cobbler and to actually be able to make my own recipes
24. to have a husband who likes to go on adventures and knows i'll kick his ass if he'd rather stay home and melt his butt into the couch
25. to NEVER have a house where i have to mulch, but plant wildflowers everywhere
26. to learn how to crack an egg with just one hand
27. to tell those that i really do love that i love and appreciate them and not take them for granted
28. to never straighten my hair again (this is a hopeful)
29. to roll down more hills and get bruises and scratches
30. to laugh more often and surround myself with those people who don't just make me laugh, but make me fall to the ground holding my sides, gasping for air and wetting my pants. those moments really are to die for
31. to know with confidence that i am here for a reason. to know God in all his delight and to know joy. constant, hot, radiating joy.--this was added because although a 'dream', im praying to God it's my reality.
*thanks margaret becker (author extraordinaire) for inspiring this list
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3 comments:
I better be crazy aunt Rachael, who is always bringing your children treasures from exotic trips and who has a million cats and who is probably... single. (:
i have not completed much of your list. although, i've watched star wars and have loved it and i can rock climb somewhat decently. i like how you said you want a house that smells like cinammon and bonfires instead of urine and throw-up, as if any house that doesn't smell like these 2 things will clearly smell like urine and throw-up.
and i've always wanted that friend that i'll be friends with for my whole life and that my kids learn to call "uncle". either austin or bo will be that guy.
my kids will be like, "when's that indian girl coming over?"
and i'll be like, "who?"
and my kids will say, "uncle, duh!"
i bet you're saying "cinnamon and bonfires" because of that one time you came up and we made that juice called "wassel" with cinnamon and sugar and stuff in it and we sat in our backyard by the bonfire.
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