wendybirdstory

so this is what i'm thinking. i don't know a whole lot about life, and deep down i'm afraid i never will. I'm one of those kids who is afraid to grow up. I'm really afraid of growing older and the thing is--i can't stop it. it's out of my control, and that in and of itself scares me.

but cry me a river,jessika, everyone gets scared to grow up--so just enjoy it.

no, i dont normally talk to myself in third person. so here's what i'm thinking, instead of being afraid of everything and so conscious of getting older, i'm going to pay attention to things outside of me--which life is really all about, beautiful things. and just the things that make up definitions of beauty and truth and things that are of substance in this life. sohere goes. the list of beauty for me, as of today:

things that i find to be truly beautiful are:

women who have salt and pepper hair and don't care to dye it or do anything to make it look tame.

my mom's smile wrinkles in her forehead and around her eyes because you know that, sort of like how you can count the rings aroound a tree trunk to tell how long its been living, i can tell how much my mom has smiled

people who go around barefoot and have callouses because they would rather have their feet tough so that they can finally feel the grass beneath their feet.

old people hands--like my granddads with agespots and scars, because hands tell a life's story and are so rich.

the eyes of little children because they will stare at you and not look away when they get caught. children are unaware of awkwardness and fully aware of themselves, and most of all--curious.

women who are completely comfortable with themselves, even if they never have skinny arms or thighs that never touch at the top or tummies that are concave naturally. women who believe that they are beautiful and don't need a guy to tell them that to believe it.

the sound of wind rushing through the trees and being so powerful that it can knock something over with a whisper.

laugher that makes you pee your pants and not care who's around to hear you snort. laughter that wracks your knsides and cracks ribs and consumes your being and makes you silent laugh until a huge burst of laughter emerges as you attempt to catch your breath.

reckless abandon and seeing people who live inside of that

and that is all as of today, i'll probably add more every day, who knows.